Astrologers @ Opinions On Cricket were working over time to bring you these random predictions for 2011 in the World of Cricket
New Zealand will play like dicks and lose all their games in the 2011 word cup. Including games against Zimabwe, Canada and Kenya. New Zealand Cricket will call for a comprehensive review of the performance resulting in Mark Greatbatch being appointed captain, John Wright invited to be chairman of selectors, while Daniel Vettori will be appointed coach.
Australia will declare "the spinner" to be an endangered species while ordering the execution of all state players who call themselves spinners. Including Nathan Hauritz. The same lab that engineered Ricky Ponting will be staffed to engineer the "spinner of tomorrow". Shane Warne will refuse to provide DNA samples insisting that they use Yusuf Pathan's DNA instead.
Ricky Ponting will ask Usman Khwaja to jump over a bridge.
South African players will start every news conference by providing glowing tributes to Sachin Tendulkar's 50th 100, even after he has crossed well over 100 International 100s. Vaccines will be developed to allow South African cricketers be immune to the runs Sachin scores against them. Vaccine trials on ICL players will show that side effects induce a player to clap every run scored by Sachin Tendulkar. Jacques Kallis will fund his own research on a pill that will supress the side effects.
England will beat India to claim the Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi trophy. Darren Gough will call for sainthood for all English players and claim that Kevin Pietersen can take Mother Teresa every fucking day of the week
India will take some steps in accepting the UDRS in exchange for gurantees of an "unofficial" window for the IPL and Test status for Afghanistan, Nepal and a country of their choosing. India will also host a massive festival for all advertising firms to execute their ad campaigns for global brands. Word cup matches will be played during the festival down times and strategic breaks.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni will "go green".
Bangladesh will invite New Zealand to play 100 bilateral ODIs
Sri Lanka will finally win a Test Match without Murali after the discovery of another freak bowler. Bowling carrum balls with ping-pong balls will now be permitted under the ammended ICC rules.
Bishen Singh Bedi will commit suicide.
Our astrolgers were unable to see any futue for Pakistan cricket but they believe Pakistan will thrive even though there is no astrological basis for that.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
England are paper tigers
England have a good team - for the T20s. Having beaten a terrible Australian team in Australia, bandwagon-wallahs, MCC membership suck ups, Anglo-philes, "slurpy" desis, tourists, latte-liberals, spot-fixers and ex-captains have begun questioning India's claim to being world number one.
The latest offering is that England have an 'all weather bowling attack' and that they have a "world class spinner" and Kevin Pietersen. The "so-called" world class spinner has an average of nearly 40 in the current series against a pathetic Australian team that Harbhajan eats for lunch every time his average starts dipping. The "world-class" hyper-spinner's overall average is further inflated due to an average of around 12 vs a "spot-fixing" Pakistan. The only two tests that he played in India he was shown his due place among the pantheon of greats. Well that was a little too much. I actually like Swann. He is a good bowler, but with Vettori and Harbhajan around, he's a definite third in my list of good spinners. Lately Harbhajan has been terrible, but he's displayed a welcome return to form in Durban whereas Swann is averaging forty. Swann's reckoning will be at Sydney where he will have the opportunity to showcase his "greatness" in friendly conditions against a sub-test class batting line up.
Kevin Pietersen may have struck form again, but so has Sachin Tendulkar for several years. Plus Tendulkar in his old age is playing better than Pietersen and my guess is that when Sachin plays with a cane in one hand, he will still do better than Pietersen. At Perth, Pietersen and the rest of the team obviously didn't want to disturb India's number one ranking and were merely trying to make the series competitive. Last time India played at Perth, the results against a much better bowling attack were somewhat different. Add Sehwag, Gambhir and Laxman to the lineup and they clearly out-do Strauss, Cook, Trott and Bell. Dhoni over Prior anytime with twice on difficult pitches. On the England side, I'm afraid the Collingwood conundrum continues to not help. India too are carrying a suspect number six, so that perhaps evens out. Plus, India can swiftly replace Gambhir or Sehwag with Vijay and not miss a beat, whereas England will probably shrivel and die should Cook or Strauss catch a cold. Add Harbhajan's two centuries, Ishant and Zaheer's support for Laxman and I see no comparison on the England side.
Let's talk about the 'all weather bowling' that recently got belted at Perth by Mike Hussey. He was about the only player who played like VVS is playing these days. India too have an 'all-weather bowling attack' (whatever that means). With one bowler and half a spinner India is winning tests overseas with a regularity that makes Ex-Lax makers nervous.
When the pitches provide the bowling some help, they become unplayable, unlike England whose bowlers decided to let Hussey get back into form after running through the top order. Plus, they couldn't make use of the conditions the same way an out-of-form Mitchell Johnson did. What the Perth test proved is that Australia is one bowler away from exposing England. India on the other hand have overcome Steyn and Morkel on a Kingsmead wicket. It's clear to me who the better batting team is.
This post is somewhat mean spirited because I'm tired of people questioning India's recent home wins. There were no tailor made pitches. If anything they were batting paradises. India's bowling has developed well and legitimately wins games for India without appearing too flashy. A good match by an incoming Bresnan and England earns the "all-weather" tag. Let's give Indian bowling it's due. Harbhajan was a worry, but his performance in Kingsmead is a top-class one.
My due apologies to my partner, but clearly we disagree and so we've covered all bases.
Posts that got me mad...
Posts that got me mad...
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Opinions On...Ashwell Prince
Ashwell Prince, while at the crease, has the perpetual expression of a long distance runner who has hit a wall into mile 20 of a marathon.
It does not matter if South Africa are ahead or trying to catch up.
Neither does it mater if he is batting on zero or a hundred.
A raging turner of a pitch or green top. For Ashwell its all the same.
He likes to make batting look like a test of endurance. Of the spectators' that is.
If England's Trott is boring, Ashwell Prince is painful to watch.
Everything about his batting is edgy, proddy, apologetic and laboured. Even his crispiest drives seem miscued. The way he goes about moving around the crease between balls, gives you the impression he is trying to hide from the world.
If Ashwell Price were to bat with a big hole in the center of his bat, I doubt anyone, including him, would notice. He would still have played 61 Tests and scored 3487 runs @ 43.58 for South Africa.
Before the Ashes, God, in answering Ricky Pontings's prayers said....
You wil score 800+ runs, 6 hundreds. Your side will win the Ashes 5-0. You will be captain for as long as you wish. However...
I will have to make you bat like Little Ashwell
Ricky Ponting said promptly..."Thanks but no Thanks".
Mike Hussey has not forgiven Ricky Ponting for this. Greg Chappel on hearing about this is learnt to have put an arm around Ponting and said..."I understand, mate...Its tough to make the right calls sometimes"
Other opinions on cricketers...
Other opinions on cricketers...
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Ashes 4.4: How Good Are England?
England: 2 Australia 1
There's probably two answers to this. The English answer
and then the real answer
I am afraid, the two answers may be the same.
England look very very good. Ever since the Adelaide win. Ricky Ponting is in the ultimate state of denial when he talked about "momentum swings". He needs to be in the next season of HBO's "In Treatment".
In the real world; not inhabited by Ponting; this seems like the most lopsided 2-1 lead ever.
Of the 3 best sides in the world at the moment;
India have a game changer of an opening batsman. They lack a solid lower middle order batsman and a world class spinner.
South Africa have the best middle order batting and the best opening bowling pair. They too lack a world class spinner.
And England have Kevin Pietersen, and an all weather bowling attack. They seem to have a distaste for the numbers game.
Depending on what happens in Durban today, India may have to be struck off the list.
This will leave everyone join the English press and fans to call for a world championship bout; home and away between England and South Africa.
And no matter what the ICC rankings say, India will have to be content with being the best bullies at home. Not a bad thing of course. But it's the truth. And for all Indians it will hurt. Till we beat England in England again.
Related Posts...
There's probably two answers to this. The English answer
and then the real answer
I am afraid, the two answers may be the same.
England look very very good. Ever since the Adelaide win. Ricky Ponting is in the ultimate state of denial when he talked about "momentum swings". He needs to be in the next season of HBO's "In Treatment".
In the real world; not inhabited by Ponting; this seems like the most lopsided 2-1 lead ever.
Of the 3 best sides in the world at the moment;
India have a game changer of an opening batsman. They lack a solid lower middle order batsman and a world class spinner.
South Africa have the best middle order batting and the best opening bowling pair. They too lack a world class spinner.
And England have Kevin Pietersen, and an all weather bowling attack. They seem to have a distaste for the numbers game.
Depending on what happens in Durban today, India may have to be struck off the list.
This will leave everyone join the English press and fans to call for a world championship bout; home and away between England and South Africa.
And no matter what the ICC rankings say, India will have to be content with being the best bullies at home. Not a bad thing of course. But it's the truth. And for all Indians it will hurt. Till we beat England in England again.
Related Posts...
India may lose
Watching the post-tea session it was Kallis and ABDV that seemed to be in control. Getting Amla to a ball way outside off was similar to Sehwag's dismissal. He will rue it if SA lose. Amla deserves as much blame as Sehwag if SA do lose.
India seemed to have been batting with setting a 300 run target rather than batting SA out of this game. Laxman being the sole exception. Zaheer came guns blazing reminding me of some of Kapil's brainless efforts in the past. However, he was lucky not to be out and worked himself in and stayed with Laxman to put India at some advantage.
However, watching the game today, it appeared that the harsh sun had helped the pitch ease out somewhat. There were a few unplayables out there, but India's bowling was terrible compared to the discipline with which SA attacked the off stump corridor.
But the morning might bring a new Zaheer to the bowling crease. If he can prise out one of ABDV or Kallis quickly, India might nose ahead. But both batsmen seem to be in little trouble, except for Kallis wanting to throw away his wicket with a hoik just short of mid-on. Harbhajan is key to India's chances. ABDV seems his likely victim.
Regardless, the first session could script the tale tomorrow. As of now it's even, with India maybe a hair ahead.
India seemed to have been batting with setting a 300 run target rather than batting SA out of this game. Laxman being the sole exception. Zaheer came guns blazing reminding me of some of Kapil's brainless efforts in the past. However, he was lucky not to be out and worked himself in and stayed with Laxman to put India at some advantage.
However, watching the game today, it appeared that the harsh sun had helped the pitch ease out somewhat. There were a few unplayables out there, but India's bowling was terrible compared to the discipline with which SA attacked the off stump corridor.
But the morning might bring a new Zaheer to the bowling crease. If he can prise out one of ABDV or Kallis quickly, India might nose ahead. But both batsmen seem to be in little trouble, except for Kallis wanting to throw away his wicket with a hoik just short of mid-on. Harbhajan is key to India's chances. ABDV seems his likely victim.
Regardless, the first session could script the tale tomorrow. As of now it's even, with India maybe a hair ahead.
Ashes 4.3: It Should not be about Ponting
If the Ashes were a movie, now would be a good time to walk away from the theater without losing much of the plot and getting the gist of it all.
If you are English you can sit through the remaining scenes and celebrate.
If you are Australian you can hope the plot calls for a Sydney upset. Then claim that the ending is intentionally left open to interpretation by the director
For most however the character that will capture all imagination will be the most unlikely of villians Ricky Ponting.
The winningest Test Player ever. A captain that outdid Clive Lloyd and Steve Waugh. A batsman as good as the best ever of his era. A fierce fierce competitor.
He doesn't exactly fit the role of a villian. But he is being made out to be one.
Who knows what Ricky Ponting's destiny has in store for him. I hope he weathers the storm. I hope the director has something up his sleeve and that Ponting is really one of the good guys. That there is some as yet unfathomable "greater good" in his deeds. That behind the veil of his pride, seeming arrogance and astounding and foolhardy stubbornness is a much misunderstood man.
Its tough.
His team, his skills and his leadership have underperformed consistently against a centuries old enemy. Three battles lost is three to many for most Australians.
He could well come to take the fall for what seems like a collective failure in the making. If Australia make Ricky Ponting into a symbol of their recent failures that would indeed be most unfortunate.
If the Ashes were a movie and if the script does not call for a final twist, then I would say Ricky Ponting was horribly miscast as a villian.
Related Posts...
If you are English you can sit through the remaining scenes and celebrate.
If you are Australian you can hope the plot calls for a Sydney upset. Then claim that the ending is intentionally left open to interpretation by the director
For most however the character that will capture all imagination will be the most unlikely of villians Ricky Ponting.
The winningest Test Player ever. A captain that outdid Clive Lloyd and Steve Waugh. A batsman as good as the best ever of his era. A fierce fierce competitor.
He doesn't exactly fit the role of a villian. But he is being made out to be one.
Who knows what Ricky Ponting's destiny has in store for him. I hope he weathers the storm. I hope the director has something up his sleeve and that Ponting is really one of the good guys. That there is some as yet unfathomable "greater good" in his deeds. That behind the veil of his pride, seeming arrogance and astounding and foolhardy stubbornness is a much misunderstood man.
Its tough.
His team, his skills and his leadership have underperformed consistently against a centuries old enemy. Three battles lost is three to many for most Australians.
He could well come to take the fall for what seems like a collective failure in the making. If Australia make Ricky Ponting into a symbol of their recent failures that would indeed be most unfortunate.
If the Ashes were a movie and if the script does not call for a final twist, then I would say Ricky Ponting was horribly miscast as a villian.
Related Posts...
Monday, December 27, 2010
India ahead
India came roaring back into the second test with some luck and lots of good bowling. Zaheer is as good as Steyn. There I said it. He may not have Steyn's strike rate or his speed, but he has exactly the same effect on his team and the opposition that Steyn does. He was fantastic this morning in South Africa.
Harbhajan finally produced a bowling spell that he can be truly proud off in recent times. Several tests had passed and he wasn't really turning games around with his bowling. This performance was a good one to put that criticism to rest for a few matches. He used the bounce on offer really well and bowled a superb spell to finish off South Africa.
Sreesanth and Ishant must still cause Dhoni some worries, but two out of four bowlers doing really well is a much better place to be than none.
The story of today to me though was the terrible shots that Sehwag and Tendulkar played to get out. This outrageous exhibition of batting when the team had enough time to bat South Africa out of the match is inexcusable. They will both be regarded as great batsmen and I think they are exceptional. But this batting performance from them could cost India the match. They are both in great form and the team needed them to stick around and take India to a safe enough lead (which I think is ~300 runs).
Vijay got a brute of a delivery and with experience he will learn to leave those types of balls alone even if it means having to duck under some balls that don't rise as high as the one that got him. Dravid is no longer playing the difference making innings that he used to. He played a terrible shot as well with feet rooted. He will not forgive himself and the result could be a worse batting performance in the next test than an improvement.
Pujara and Laxman are holding up quite well and may take India to a lead of 250 or so, along with contributions from Dhoni and the tail. This will be short of what would really be needed to put away the game. Amla and Kallis will be difficult to get at a second time. With time not a factor for South Africa and three form batsmen in the side, the odds will favor them, if India don't put up a big enough total.
The match is finely balanced and some indiscretion from South African batsmen and a repeat bowling performance from Zaheer is needed for India to claim this game.
Harbhajan finally produced a bowling spell that he can be truly proud off in recent times. Several tests had passed and he wasn't really turning games around with his bowling. This performance was a good one to put that criticism to rest for a few matches. He used the bounce on offer really well and bowled a superb spell to finish off South Africa.
Sreesanth and Ishant must still cause Dhoni some worries, but two out of four bowlers doing really well is a much better place to be than none.
The story of today to me though was the terrible shots that Sehwag and Tendulkar played to get out. This outrageous exhibition of batting when the team had enough time to bat South Africa out of the match is inexcusable. They will both be regarded as great batsmen and I think they are exceptional. But this batting performance from them could cost India the match. They are both in great form and the team needed them to stick around and take India to a safe enough lead (which I think is ~300 runs).
Vijay got a brute of a delivery and with experience he will learn to leave those types of balls alone even if it means having to duck under some balls that don't rise as high as the one that got him. Dravid is no longer playing the difference making innings that he used to. He played a terrible shot as well with feet rooted. He will not forgive himself and the result could be a worse batting performance in the next test than an improvement.
Pujara and Laxman are holding up quite well and may take India to a lead of 250 or so, along with contributions from Dhoni and the tail. This will be short of what would really be needed to put away the game. Amla and Kallis will be difficult to get at a second time. With time not a factor for South Africa and three form batsmen in the side, the odds will favor them, if India don't put up a big enough total.
The match is finely balanced and some indiscretion from South African batsmen and a repeat bowling performance from Zaheer is needed for India to claim this game.
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